1.”I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It’s Hans free” – Darren Walsh
2.”Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse … but enough about Kanye West” – Stewart Francis
3.”Surely every car is a people carrier?” – Adam Hess
4.”What’s the difference between a ‘hippo’ and a ‘Zippo’? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter” – Masai Graham
5.”If I could take just one thing to a desert island I probably wouldn’t go” – Dave Green
6.”Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That’s not a miracle. That’s tapas” – Mark Nelson
7.”Red sky at night. Shepherd’s delight. Blue sky at night. Day” – Tom Parry
8.”The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves” – Alun Cochrane
9.”Clowns divorce. Custardy battle” – Simon Munnery
10.”They’re always telling me to live my dreams. But I don’t want to be naked in an exam I haven’t revised for…” – Grace The Child
